Well apparently he's into motor boating.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
