I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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