alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
