Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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