Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
