It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
