Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
