thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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