So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
