so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
