..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize