So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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