the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
