Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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