Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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