Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize