At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
