Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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