i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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