I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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