There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
