you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize