Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
