she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
