OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
