You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I forgot wine drunk hurts
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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