omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize