Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
