I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
