i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
