what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Success! We fucked roommates!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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