I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
