Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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