It's like a parade of train wrecks.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
