I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
