Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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