Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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