Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
