Screwed.edu
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
