whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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