I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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