hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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