On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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