I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
