In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
