Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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