i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
