I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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