jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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