I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
