New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize