I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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