let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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