Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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