What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize