Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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