Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
