I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
