wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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