He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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