Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
