you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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