where am i from again
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
bring money and cleavage
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
