walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
