I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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