it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
