That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
