Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
