I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Houston, we have a blender
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
