i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
